Maybe, understanding your neighbour is more important than love

It's bullshit when people talk about loving your neighbourhoods.


People cant love a community they aren't close to. You need love potions for that.


What's more important is understanding each other.




Source: Muslims and non-muslims breaking fast together



Relationship Goal 1: Empathy – do not give up in trying to understand each other

Human relationships break down because people become tired of wanting to understand each other, or refuse to understand each other.

You might say, “I don’t want to understand my neighbour anymore because he is such an ass”. It is however, important to place yourself in the shoes of your neighbour, and understand why he acts the way he does.

Did he use a bamboo pole to knock your ceiling because he is a light sleeper and you were making too much noise? Did he not know how to approach you, and finds it embarrassing that he has such a “weakness”?

Sometimes, our ego gets in the way and we stop trying to understand each other. To better understand your neighbour, try to put yourself in their shoes. Hopefully they don’t wear the ones below ;)

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Relationship Goal 2: Social behaviours are sometimes implicit – learn to probe

The old joke that women always don’t mean what they say, that they are fine with it when they are not, is sometimes true. But that might apply to men too. And, your neighbours.

Learn not to just hear a person. Demonstrate an interest, be just that little bit warmer to your neighbours, ask and understand. Probe and observe a little bit – just like that sweet neighbour here.

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Relationship Goal 3: Win-win situations are favoured by all

Approach your neighbour should there be a win-win situation. Sometimes, your mother may help to take care of the neighbour’s kids because she is bored; and the neighbour’s granny might be exhausted. Missy HSB isn’t asking neighbours to make use of each other. However, these common platforms help relationships to get better.

Look at these Tanjong Pagar residents jio-ing each other to watch movies together. This is a win-win situation!

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Relationship Goal 4: Don’t hold grudges

Grudge-holders might amplify their grievances and intensify their hurt, prolonging their own suffering to let others (especially the wrong-doer) know that they have been mistreated.

To let go of your grudges, identify your triggers – know what it is that made you unhappy.

Did your neighbour apologise inadequately for what he had done wrong? Was it a misunderstanding? Were you being insensitive?

Acknowledge that feeling, then talk to your neighbour. Else, put a time limit to it and let the past stay in the past. These grudges get in the way of progress – progression of relationship, your life, your relationship with your neighbours.

Let it go.

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Relationship Goal 5: Communication is a two-way street

To establish trust between neighbours, we have to reveal part of ourselves. When our neighbour read us, are given an insight to who is the ‘real’ us, they open up to us, and will feel more comfortable. As they become more comfortable, they open up more to us.

Here are some tips to improve relationships with your neighbours! May this bring more harmony to your neighbourhood in the new year (:

All I want for Christmas is you~

Christmas is a time to gift your loved one with something he or she wouldn’t fork out for, for getting a nicer version of an item he needs or loves.

It is also even to buy something you want and like, but knowing that you wouldn’t buy it for yourself; and knowing that someone else would definitely like it (complicated, but true!)

 

1. Pets

Why do we love our pets so?

 

The happiness of our pets isn’t complicated the way human happiness is. And when we see them happy, we are happy too.

 

Mr HSB, can I get a dachshund for Christmas this year? *puppy eyes*

 

One important note though: Do not buy a pet if you cant be responsible for its happiness and well-being. And make his Christmas, by adopting him from a local shelter.

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2. A survival kit for work/school

With school starting soon, your kid will be happy with a Christmas/back-to-school survival kit. 

Show your kid/girlfriend your love by remembering what she likes and make her happy with her favourite mid-noon snack or her favourite figurine. Take time to assemble it.

Also, add on personalised messages for each:

Instead of “Is your dad a baker? Cos you’ve got great buns”, say “I will be the cheese to my hun-bun bun, sticky and gooey and being your favourite sun”.

Just kidding, but think of a message for each item!

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3. Lunch bags

There are two ways to read this. You can get her a cute bag for her to put her wallet, phone, tissues in when she goes for lunch, or make her a packed lunch and put it in a lunch bag on Christmas Eve.

Yes, girls find their man cute when they don the apron. A man who cooks, always earns an extra brownie point for me!

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4. Smartphone Attachable Lens-style Camera

This works for girls (and guys) who want to experiment with DSLR – simply mount these lens to your smartphone to capture DSLR-standard pictures and videos, and share them with your friends and family afterwards.

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5. Luggage Covers

Had enough of unfurling the plastic wrap that your girlfriend paid for at the airport? Get her a pretty luggage cover to protect her luggage from the elements.

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A little more about the author

Missy HSB will also be writing for HSB in future, if you have been keeping up with our HSB posts. She grew up in the era of Missy Elliot, an American rapper, and Adee. She also likes it that Missy Elliot is different, strong and excels in what she does. She doesn’t like the term Mrs because it makes her feel old, and hence chose Missy – her go-to term when she scolds anyone ;)

Farting cows, sinking countries and smog-filled skies

The COP21 was a massive United Nations conference which involved delegates of 195 nations: world leaders and experts, and culminated after one year of negotiations.  The Paris Agreement was sealed on 12 Dec.  

 

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Exploring the COP21 and its “positive energy”

A few basic facts of COP21 – promise they are easily digestible, and you wouldn’t be farting afterwards ;)

1. COP21 refers to the 21^st Conference of Parties to the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change

2. World has already warmed by almost 1° C (the average warming over pre-Industrial Revolution levels)

3. Limit global warming by setting a temperature cap of 2°C, or better yet, an aim of 1.5°C. Failing which, there will be catastrophic climate change - countries like Bangkok and island states may sink faster or be engulfed. Seas will rise, droughts, floods and storms will worsen.

4. Slashing or eliminating the use of renewable energy (coal, oil, gas) and switching to cleaner sources (solar and wind, and improving energy efficiency)

5. Limit amount of greenhouses gases emitted by human activity to the same level that trees, soils and oceans can absorb naturally, beginning at some point between 2050 and 2100. [Did you know that fires in SE Asia have released more than a gigatonne of carbon dioxide this year. Gigatonne?!?!?]

6. The developed world will provide $100 billion a year to poorer nations to help the latter switch from fossil fuels to greener sources of energy and adapt to the effects of climate change 

7. For the first time, all countries will be required to report on “national inventories of emissions by source”

Source: AFP

 

We’ll be sharing what you can do, as an individual to help protect Mother Earth, so do look out for it. We can’t evoke a huge change like the governments, to implement such large-scale efforts. But do you realise that without our individual efforts, without the efforts of considerate and Earth-friendly business owners, without the enthusiasm of the school children, the governments can’t do it themselves too?