Maybe, understanding your neighbour is more important than love

It's bullshit when people talk about loving your neighbourhoods.


People cant love a community they aren't close to. You need love potions for that.


What's more important is understanding each other.




Source: Muslims and non-muslims breaking fast together



Relationship Goal 1: Empathy – do not give up in trying to understand each other

Human relationships break down because people become tired of wanting to understand each other, or refuse to understand each other.

You might say, “I don’t want to understand my neighbour anymore because he is such an ass”. It is however, important to place yourself in the shoes of your neighbour, and understand why he acts the way he does.

Did he use a bamboo pole to knock your ceiling because he is a light sleeper and you were making too much noise? Did he not know how to approach you, and finds it embarrassing that he has such a “weakness”?

Sometimes, our ego gets in the way and we stop trying to understand each other. To better understand your neighbour, try to put yourself in their shoes. Hopefully they don’t wear the ones below ;)

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Relationship Goal 2: Social behaviours are sometimes implicit – learn to probe

The old joke that women always don’t mean what they say, that they are fine with it when they are not, is sometimes true. But that might apply to men too. And, your neighbours.

Learn not to just hear a person. Demonstrate an interest, be just that little bit warmer to your neighbours, ask and understand. Probe and observe a little bit – just like that sweet neighbour here.

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Relationship Goal 3: Win-win situations are favoured by all

Approach your neighbour should there be a win-win situation. Sometimes, your mother may help to take care of the neighbour’s kids because she is bored; and the neighbour’s granny might be exhausted. Missy HSB isn’t asking neighbours to make use of each other. However, these common platforms help relationships to get better.

Look at these Tanjong Pagar residents jio-ing each other to watch movies together. This is a win-win situation!

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Relationship Goal 4: Don’t hold grudges

Grudge-holders might amplify their grievances and intensify their hurt, prolonging their own suffering to let others (especially the wrong-doer) know that they have been mistreated.

To let go of your grudges, identify your triggers – know what it is that made you unhappy.

Did your neighbour apologise inadequately for what he had done wrong? Was it a misunderstanding? Were you being insensitive?

Acknowledge that feeling, then talk to your neighbour. Else, put a time limit to it and let the past stay in the past. These grudges get in the way of progress – progression of relationship, your life, your relationship with your neighbours.

Let it go.

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Relationship Goal 5: Communication is a two-way street

To establish trust between neighbours, we have to reveal part of ourselves. When our neighbour read us, are given an insight to who is the ‘real’ us, they open up to us, and will feel more comfortable. As they become more comfortable, they open up more to us.

Here are some tips to improve relationships with your neighbours! May this bring more harmony to your neighbourhood in the new year (: